Just Saying…

Forty-eight years later, I still love it. It wasn't my plan — but apparently it was God's.

The love you had for that person doesn't end. It just moves into a different room of your heart and stays there.

Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's deciding that something else matters more.

Grief comes in waves. Some days it's a ripple. Some days it knocks you flat. Both are normal.

When everything feels unbearable, you don't have to solve it all today. You just have to get through today.

Quiet doesn't mean fine. It just means I've learned to carry it alone.

Faith is not knowing the full path — it's trusting the one who laid it.

I mapped out my road. God knew the destination before I took the first step.

Missing someone is the price you pay for having loved them. It's worth it.

Purpose is the antidote to hopelessness. Find yours.

Sometimes not getting the job is the greatest thing that ever happened to you.

Fear is a liar — and it's been telling you the same lie so long you started to believe it.

When life's problems weigh you down, there is always someone there to help you in your time of need. Look up.

Running from your problems is a race you'll never win.

The ones we lose never really leave — they just change addresses.

Not everyone who is smiling is okay.

You don't have to have it all figured out today — just love 'em and show up. That's enough for now.

The best way to honor somebody you've lost is to live the kind of life they'd be proud of.

I am at the age where I am losing more friends than I am making. But I will never forget the ones I've lost.

An obstacle is not a roadblock. It's a detour to your destination.

If you need help, don't be ashamed to raise your hand. There's always someone out there willing to give you a helping hand.

A person lives on as long as somebody remembers them with love.

You're stronger than you feel right now, and braver than you know.

Silence isn't peace. Sometimes it's just where the pain learned to hide.

You don't get over loss. You get through it — and carry it differently over time.

You will laugh again. You will feel joy again. That's not a betrayal — that's healing.

Asking for help isn't the white flag. It's the first step forward.

Even sinners have a future — and angels have a past.

Strength isn't the absence of pain. Sometimes it's just the decision not to show it.

They didn't leave us empty-handed. They left us full of everything they gave us.

The eyes are the window to the soul — and sometimes what's behind that window is screaming for help.

Your mind will believe whatever you keep telling it. Tell it something better.

If this is more than a lonely night — if it's been weeks, or it's gettin' hard to see a way through — please talk to somebody. A friend, a pastor, a doctor. You don't have to carry it alone, and you don't have to earn the help. It's already yours for the askin'.

My plan had limits. God's plan had none.

The ones who never ask for help usually need it most. Be the one who checks on them anyway.

Hope is the last light to go out — and when it does, everything goes dark.

Some of the bravest people I know never said a word about what they were carrying.

Your darkest moment is not your final moment.

Heaven got a good one. We got the memories.

They may be gone from your sight — but never from your heart.

Time doesn't heal everything. But it does give you more room to carry it.

Some people carry storms behind a smile that never gives them away.

A smile can hide almost anything. The eyes never quite finish the job.

The battle for your life is won or lost between your ears.

Fear grows in silence and dies in conversation.

I will never forget the friends I've lost — and I'm still grateful for every new one God sends my way.

Faith is simple. It's just trusting. The hard part is letting go enough to do it.

You don't have to perform okay for people who actually love you.

Sometimes your profession finds you — not the other way around.

One step, one day, one diaper at a time. Don't give up — not for yourself, but for your kids.

You don't have to know where you're going. You just have to take the next right step.

They need things money can't buy. They need you, as a caring friend.

The path doesn't have to be clear for you to start walking it.

Loneliness feels like a life sentence. It's not. It's just a season, and seasons turn.

Confused about your future just means you're paying attention — the folks who never wonder are the ones who oughta.

You've survived 100% of your worst days so far. That's not luck. That's you.

You were not brought this far to be defeated by your own mind.

You don't have to be okay today. You just have to get through today.

Sometimes you don't find your calling. Sometimes it finds you.

Faith is not knowing the answer. It's trusting the one who does.

Angels don't come because you call them. They come when you need them.

Did you leave this world better than it was when you got here? The good ones usually answer that without being asked.

Your babies don't need a perfect mama — they need a present one. You're already doing that.

You can't appreciate standing on top of the mountain until you've been at the bottom of the valley.

The demons you don't face don't disappear. They just move in and redecorate.

Whatever you refuse to face owns you.

Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.

Don't be upset that it's over — be thankful you got to do it.

The mask gets heavy. You're allowed to take it off, even for a minute.

The weight you're carrying was never meant to be carried alone.

It's okay to not be okay — just don't stay there alone.

The first step out of the darkness doesn't have to be a big one. It just has to be forward.

My plan fit on paper. God's plan fit eternity.

The heaviest chains are the ones nobody else can see.

Faith is the anchor that holds when everything else is drifting.

Angels come in many different sizes, shapes, and genders. They're everywhere.

Don't let the noise in your head drown out the truth in your heart.

I know you feel lonely, like nobody's callin' and nobody'd notice if you stopped answerin' — but I noticed. And I'm tellin' you, you matter.

If love could have saved them, they would have lived forever.

Faith doesn't make things easy. It makes them possible.

Faith doesn't remove the mountain — it gives you the courage to climb it.

Tell the stories. Say their name. Keep them in the room.

You don't have to explain your pain to deserve help with it.

Helplessness is a feeling, not a fact. Don't confuse the two.

Grief is not the end of the story. It's just the hardest chapter.

Grief is just love with nowhere to go.

Don't let anybody put a timetable on your grief. It moves at its own pace.

The eyes don't lie. Look into them long enough and you'll see everything a person is trying not to say.

Breaking free starts with believing you deserve to be free.

You were not put here to just survive. You were put here to live.

I planned for where I wanted to go. God planned for where I needed to be.

You are allowed to not be okay and still be loved.

Death ends a life. It doesn't end a relationship.

You don't have to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to keep walking toward it.

What you don't confront controls you.

Sometimes the life you didn't plan turns out to be better than the one you did.

What I've learned in life is there's a lot of things I can't control. But I might could help a few people with some words that get them through some of the challenges we all go through.

Hope is not a strategy, but it sure is the fuel that keeps you going.

Hurting in silence doesn't make you strong. Reaching out does.

The bravest thing you'll do today might just be staying.

Just because I don't talk about my problems doesn't mean I don't have any.

One of the greatest gifts God gave us is the ability to change.

A world without hope is not a world at all — just a place people pass through.

Crying doesn't mean you're weak. It means you loved somebody.

You can live without many things, but nobody truly lives without hope.

Sometimes the load doesn't get lighter. You just get stronger, or you get help. Either one will do.

You carry more than they know, and you're doing it so they don't have to carry it too.

The enemy inside is quieter than the enemy outside — and a whole lot more dangerous.

Stumbling in life is not unusual. What's unusual is to get back up.

You can't change what happened to you. But you have everything to say about what happens next.

The fact that you question yourself means you care enough to get it right.

Nobody drowns quietly on purpose. They just don't know how to ask for the rope.

The heaviest loads are often carried by the people who never complain about the weight.

Face your demons or your demons will always face you.

Be patient with people. You only see what they show you — not what they carry home.

Strip a man of everything and he can survive. Strip him of hope and there is nothing left to save.

Every storm runs out of rain. Hold on.

Without hope, the sun still rises — but nobody bothers to look up.

Hope is not a luxury — it is the oxygen of the human spirit.

The sun still rises. Even after the worst nights. Especially after them.

You can't heal what you won't reveal.

Faith is not wishful thinking — it is confident waiting.

You don't need to see the whole staircase, just enough light for the next step.

You keep waitin' on somebody to check on you. Let this be that. I'm checkin'. You're not alone.

We all have a chapter we don't read out loud.

You don't have to feel strong to be strong for them. Sometimes the acting is the doing.

The prison with no bars is the hardest one to escape. But the door was never locked.

Check on your strong friends. They need it most and ask for it least.

Winners give you results. Losers give you excuses.

Isn't it funny — you want money now more to help those struggling friends who are suffering in silence more than anyone knows. And money might help a little, but it can't help them the way they really need.

There's no right way to grieve. There's just your way.

Your kids don't need to see your fear. They need to see you keep standing — that's how they learn to stand too.

The moment you decide you're worth fighting for — the fight gets easier.

Some days survival is the victory. Don't let anybody tell you different.

The ability to change is one of the greatest gifts we are given.

Some people leave footprints on your heart so deep that time can't wash them away.

Even broken things can be mended — it just takes two hands and two hearts.

Hold the line for them today — you can fall apart in private, but not in front of the ones watching you for hope.

The best things in my life never went according to plan — they went according to grace.

Your darkest moment is not your final moment. Trust me — hang on.

When life brings you to your knees — you're in a perfect position to ask for help.

You've been carrying this alone long enough. Put it down. Ask for help. That's not weakness — that's wisdom.

The one who walks by faith doesn't always know the way, but never walks alone.

When you've run out of everything else — faith is still there. It was always going to be the last one standing.

Angels don't check your schedule. They keep God's.

Doubt is not a stop sign — it's just a speed bump on the road to greatness.

Strength ain't the absence of breaking down — it's choosing when and where you let it show.

It's okay to not have it figured out. Nobody does — some folks are just better at pretending.

Where you are today was always in the plan. It just wasn't in your plan.

My plan made sense to me. God's plan made sense of everything.

I had a plan. God had a plan. Only one of us knew the whole story.

Falling down is an accident. Staying down is a choice.

The only one who honestly likes change is a baby with a dirty diaper.

A setback is just a setup for a comeback.

A full tank of the right attitude will take you further than talent ever could.

Being born poor is not your fault. Staying poor is.

If you like where you came from, you'll probably like where you're going.

In the end, it's not about how big you are or how fast you are — it's about how badly you believe you can.

You don't need permission to start. You need the guts to.

If it was easy, everybody would do it.

If it came easy, everybody would have it.

Life isn't a dress rehearsal. This is the show.

The only way out is through.

Know what you stand for before somebody else decides for you.

You won't recognize the new you until you're willing to let go of the old you.

Not everybody cheering for you wants you to win.

A man with courage is a majority.

Failure is a moment. Regret is a lifetime.

When you feel like quitting, remember why you started.

Grit outlasts talent every single time.

Marry somebody you actually like. The love deepens — the like has to already be there.

Hard times don't build character — they reveal it.

You cannot grow and stay the same — choose wisely.

The only talent wasted is the one never used.

Attitude is one of the only things that no one can ever take away from you.

Some days you're the windshield. Some days you're the bug. Show up either way.

Who you spend your time with is who you're becoming. Choose carefully.

Your worst day taught you something your best day never could.

You get what you work for, not what you wish for.

It's not the trophy that makes a winner — it's the heart that earned it.

You can't be everything to everybody. Pick your lane.

Grit is just grace under pressure that's been there long enough.

Winning starts in the mind long before it shows up in results.

The door of opportunity swings on the hinges of hard work.

You'll miss this day someday. Don't waste it wishing for a different one.

If you can conceive your dream, believe it — then I bet you can achieve it.

You don't have to feel strong to keep going — you just have to keep going.

Anyone can talk a good game. Not everybody can play a good game.

Do what your neighbor does, and you'll stay right where your neighbor is. Don't expect him to root for you to pass him.

You can't get to second base unless you take your foot off first.

Start before you're ready. You'll never be as ready as you think you need to be.

You will miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take.

I've been knocked down so many times I quit counting and started landing better.

You become like your environment. Hang around losers, you'll become a loser. Hang around people with ambition, you'll become even more ambitious.

Everybody can dream — but only the ones with persistence can make that dream a reality.

Do you have a backbone or a wishbone?

The moment you almost quit is usually the moment before the breakthrough.

Could've, should've, would've never accomplished anything.

You never really lose until you stop trying.

Learn to live on less than you make. That one habit will change your life.

It doesn't matter where you start on the ladder of life and business. It matters where you end up.

The winner was once a beginner who simply refused to quit.

Nobody remembers the times you fell. They remember whether you got up.

The world's full of people hiding what lights them up. Be the one who doesn't.

A winner is built in the moments nobody is watching.

Everyone can say what you could have or should have done — but what did you actually do?

You may waste a day, maybe even a month — but don't waste a lifetime.

Growth doesn't announce itself — you only see it when you look back.

The strongest don't always win. The ones who think they can — do.

If you're going through hell, keep going — it ain't a good place to stop. — often attributed to Winston Churchill

A winner is not someone who never falls — it's someone who never stays down.

Most folks bury their passion out of fear. Don't be most folks.

If you don't enjoy today, why do you think you'll like tomorrow?

Are you running from something or running to something? There is a big difference.

Are you making excuses — or are you making a difference?

Winners win, and losers whine.

It doesn't take money to be a winner. It takes a goal, focus, and a burning desire to change your life.

The comeback is always better than the setback — if you use it right.

The difference between winners and losers is usually just how they think.

The person who says it can't be done should not interrupt the one who is doing it.

It takes guts and determination to rise above negativity and pursue your ambitions.

The ones who made it were simply the ones who didn't stop.

Stop waiting for your life to start. It already did.

Be somebody your younger self would be proud of.

Attitude is the fuel to change your life.

Stop asking what if and start asking why not.

Giving up is permanent. Struggling is temporary.

The finish line never moves. Only the runner does.

Spend your ATTENTION on your INTENTION!

Are you chasing a dream or escaping a reality you haven't fixed yet?

Life's great battles don't always go to the strongest or fastest man — but in the end, the one who wins is the one who thinks he can.

Running to something builds a life. Running from something just moves the problem.

Giving up is easy. Getting back up is where character lives.

The world is full of people who almost tried.

A little saved today is a lot of breathing room tomorrow.

Hard roads don't go on forever, but strong walkers do.

Stop waiting for permission. Nobody's going to give it to you anyway.

If you want to be the best at anything — learn from the best.

You can recover from failure. You cannot recover from never having tried.

You get great rewards when you work hard — not when you wish hard.

Most people don't lack ability. They lack direction.

Winners don't have fewer obstacles — they have more reasons to overcome them.

How do you know what you can accomplish when you've never tried?

You don't always need tough love. Sometimes you just need tough encouragement.

There's no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs — and enjoy the climb.

Tough times never last — tough people do.

You don't have to have it all figured out at 25. But you better be working on it.

Attitude determines your altitude.

Do you rise to the occasion, or wilt to the pressure? The choice is yours.

Anyone can give up. It takes something special to stand back up.

No one owns your dreams. Only you.

You're going to look back on this someday. Make sure you like what you see.

The destination means nothing if you hated the drive.

Failure is tuition. Make sure you're learning something.

No one has the right to criticize your dreams. You and only you can make that dream a reality.

Change requires change.

Don't spend money you don't have to impress people you don't like.

Attitudes are contagious. Which one do you have — a good one or a bad one?

You've already survived every hard day you thought would break you.

Wishing for something and working for something are not the same thing — and only one of them gets results.

The people who are hardest on you sometimes love you the most.

Your first job won't be your last. But how you do it will follow you.

Talent may open the door but attitude decides how long you stay in the room.

Having goals is one thing. Having focus is another.

You can't put passion in a person — but you sure can help get it out of them.

Don't let what you can't do stop you from doing what you can.

Every version of you that struggled built the version of you that stands today.

Losers give you excuses. Winners give you results.

Can you imagine what you can accomplish with inspiration, dedication, and perspiration?

Wishing is not working.

You don't have to be bad to get better. You just have to want to get better.

College is just the starting line — not the finish line.

The earlier you figure out what you don't want, the sooner you find what you do.

The only difference between a dream and a plan is a start date.

They say the only difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

Easy roads don't build strong people — but rough roads do.

The twenties are for making mistakes. The thirties are for fixing them. Don't skip either one.

Paralysis by analysis has killed more dreams than failure ever did.

Growth is rarely comfortable, but comfort rarely grows you.

Don't get activity confused with accomplishments.

It might be challenging and difficult, but nobody can navigate through life except you.

Tired is not the same as finished.

Kids are like dogs — if the dog jumps up on you and won't mind, don't get mad at the dog, get mad at his owner.

Change your attitude and you change the direction of your entire life.

Your GPA won't follow you the rest of your life — but your reputation will.

A strong heart and determination will always compete with ability.

The goal was never the money — it was what the money was for.

Most committees are just created so no one person will have to take the blame.

Back then I knew everything — and it only took me thirty years to unlearn it.

Anything can be resolved if everyone is committed to finding a solution.

A lot of people can tell you what not to do — only a few can tell you what to do.

Everybody wants wisdom. Nobody wants to do what it takes to get it.

Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.

I never claimed to be the smartest man in the room — I just made sure I was always listening to whoever was.

You always knew the stove was hot. But you still had to touch it.

Most people spend more time planning their vacation than they do planning their life.

Enjoy what you have, not what you don't.

The questions about life are many, the answers are few. So when you find one that holds up, hang onto it.

I learned early that my ears were more valuable than my opinions.

What takes no time, lasts no time.

There is an admission price to becoming great at something. It's called experience.

If you ever have to pick between someone with a degree or someone with an education — always pick education.

You don't lack time. You lack priorities.

Most people have everything they need — just not everything they want.

Young people don't have a clue what an older person would do to help them — if they only asked.

Choices are many — the correct ones are few.

Common sense — not too common.

Self awareness is rare. Most people spend a lifetime blaming everything but the mirror.

If you argue with a fool, it becomes hard to determine which one is the fool.

Book smart is a gift. Street smart is survival. Common sense is both.

Classrooms give you grades. Life gives you wisdom. Both matter — but only one stays with you.

I may not have had all the answers. But I knew who to ask.

Change your thoughts and you can change your life.

You don't have to be the smartest one in the room — just the most trustworthy.

Are you scared of what's over the hill — or excited by it? Your answer says everything about how you're living.

An advanced degree is great. An advanced education from working is even better.

But you can give that much every day.

A person who asks great questions and listens intently is a great sign of intelligence.

Even a blind hog finds an acorn every now and then.

My daddy said 'experience is a hard teacher — gives the test first, lesson after.' I made straight A's in that school.

One of the greatest questions you can ask another person: "What do you think?"

Finding out what you don't want in life is just as important as finding out what you do want.

Most people would rather change everything around them than change the one thing that needs it — themselves.

It's not that you don't have time. It's that you didn't make time.

If you can fix it, fix it. If you can't fix it, worrying won't fix it either.

Problems are like bad relatives. Everybody's got them, but you don't always talk about them.

The answer to most problems is usually somewhere in the middle.

Some folks study so hard for life they forget to live it.

The quick is forgotten. The careful is remembered.

A half truth is a whole lie.

Don't be a person with money in the bank but nothing in their soul.

Smart is knowing what you know. Wise is knowing what you don't — and finding someone who does.

You don't ask a fat man how to lose weight — but don't ask a skinny man where to get a Chicken Fried Steak.

Life is actually pretty simple. We just like to make it more difficult than it is.

I wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer — but I stayed close to the ones who were.

The early bird gets the worm — but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Book learning, street learning, and life learning — you need all three.

Most people's opinions are worth about what they cost. Nothing.

They say time waits for no one. Well — sounds like you better get in a hurry.

Like being mad at the skunk for stinking.

Common sense ain't so common anymore. Hold onto yours — it's worth more than you think.

A mentor is just someone who walked the road ahead of you and left a trail.

If everyone in the room agrees, you probably don't need everybody in the room.

Just because you rode on a plane don't mean you can fly one.

It's not what's on the screen — it's what's in your heart.

A wise man knows what he doesn't know. A fool thinks that's the same thing.

Everybody's got their own way of getting through life. Don't judge somebody else's just because it's not yours.

If you can't say it on one page, you probably don't know it as well as you think.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Don't try to boil the ocean — just boil your little pot.

Unlike playing golf, you don't get mulligans in life.

Experience is a hard teacher — she gives the test first and the lesson after.

Some of the greatest lessons I ever learned came from listening to and watching good people who loved me.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Sometimes we all need a jolt of reality.

Who do you remember — your teacher or the one who gave you an education?

Before you take someone's advice — check their results.

If you don't like where you came from, you probably won't like where you're going.

What good is a full wallet and an empty life?

The greatest education I ever got didn't come from a classroom. It came from shutting up and listening.

What you become in life is due to what you did in life.

Wisdom is knowing that what you strived for didn't bring the satisfaction you thought it would — even after you got it.

If it ain't broke don't fix it.

If you think it's hard to collect money from a poor man — try collecting it from a rich one.

Whole lot of churning — but no butter.

Like being surprised the snake bit you when you picked it up.

The gifts that changed my life the most never came from a store.

The older I get, the more I realize how little I know — and how much I used to think I did.

Free advice is worth exactly what you paid for it.

The best lessons on how to live were never in a book. They were in the people who lived them.

The best thing you'll ever do, you probably haven't done yet.

The cream always rises to the top.

Sometimes as you get older you realize you were wrong about what you thought was important. It was a false illusion all along.

Most of the time it's easier just to do it than to keep talking about it.

The best lessons I ever learned came from people who never had a lesson plan.

Before you burn the bridge, remember you might need to walk back across it someday.

Living is learning.

If you help others get what they want, I bet you're probably going to get what you want.

Don't take marriage advice from a divorced man — unless you want to know what not to do.

It takes a lot of guts to be simple!

The clock's running for all of us. Difference is, nobody shows you the time.

Everyone hates getting a $500 bill for something unexpected. But it's a lot better when you have the $500 to pay it. Not everyone does.

You can't give more than you have.

High tech, plain talk — that's a winning combination.

A degree is a piece of paper — an education is what you did with the rest of your life.

I don't know many big fancy words. But I do have a little common sense.

Sometimes the greatest gift you ever received wasn't wrapped.

A lot of things are a little harder to do than they said in school.

You know, most folks have to work to find something wrong. You've got a gift.

Know your place in the room.

The best tech is the kind your grandmother could use without calling you twice.

The hardest conversation you'll ever have is the honest one you have with yourself.

The person who chases two rabbits catches neither.

Time doesn't run out on you. You just spend it on something else.

Trees don't grow to the sky.

Rich in things. Poor in people. That's not winning.

Make it simple enough that a fifth grader gets it, and smart enough that the expert respects it.

What rushes in, rushes out. What endures, takes its time.

The smartest folks I know can take a complicated mess and boil it down to where your grandma understands it over coffee.

There's a difference between bein' raised right and knowin' anything — took me a while to figure out I was only guilty of the first one.

Think long, go wrong.

Speed builds for today; patience builds for forever.

I can't tell people what to do because I'm not that smart. But I can tell them what good people did for life.

She's got a PhD in common sense, which is rarer than the other kind.

He had everything money could buy — and nothing money couldn't.

In a world full of bells and whistles, the folks who keep it simple are the ones who get heard.

No one plans to fail — they fail to plan.

Every person is going to fail at some point — but when you do, learn from it and move on. That's called experience.

Academics and an education are not synonymous.

No one has twenty-twenty foresight.

If you're listening you're probably learning.

Not all gifts come with a bow. Some come with a lesson.

Do you have a goal — or just a wish?

The wisest thing I ever did was pay attention to the many people wiser than me.

Where your focus goes, your energy flows.

It's great to get a degree — but it's even better to get an education.

I used to think wisdom was somethin' old men made up to feel important. Now I'm the old man, and turns out — we weren't lyin'.

Not knowing the answer is not a crime. Knowing it and not using it — that's the bigger problem.

Be thankful for what you have — not what you don't.

Farmers don't want all the land — just the land next to them.

If you keep doing the same old things you get the same old results.

Simple isn't the absence of smart — it's smart with the fat trimmed off.

Advice is only as good as the experience behind it.

We grade the students. Nobody grades the teachers. Maybe we should.

Worrying is like a rocking chair — it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere.

The trouble with good advice is that it usually interferes with your plans.

Complexity is easy. Simple is the hard part — and the valuable part.

Don't dress up a bad deal and call it a gift.

Right choices, right life.

Your education is never over. You're just not in a classroom.

Are you a giver or a taker in life?

Remember — the closer you are to the home office, the easier they think it is to do.

Succeed because you owe it to every version of yourself that never gave up.

The word I builds monuments. The word we builds legacies.

You can't have too many great employees — but you can dang sure not have enough.

If you can't get your employees excited — how in the world are you going to get your customers excited to do business with you?

Selling is not convincing. It's connecting.

No is easy. Solutions are rare.

If everywhere you go has the same problem — stop looking around and start looking in the mirror.

It can take years to build a relationship and only minutes to lose one.

Relationships matter.

Hiding a problem ain't the same as solving one.

Good leaders ask 'how can I help?' Bad ones ask 'why isn't this done yet?' in the same tone of voice.

You can't make a great organization without great people.

My dad used to say — don't tell me how much you sold. Tell me how much profit you made.

Companies always say they need motivation. My first question is — why do they need motivating?

More paper don't make a better borrower — it just makes a bigger file.

You don't need every feature. You need the right one, done well.

Let's be honest — the only one who truly likes change is a baby with a dirty diaper.

Even if you can't help a customer, the fact that you honestly tried speaks volumes about how much you value them.

The best loan file is a clean one — not a big one.

You never learn anything while you're talking.

Good leaders ask "how can I help?" Bad ones ask "why isn't this done yet?" — in the same tone of voice.

If you don't believe in what you're selling — why are you selling it?

Take care of your customers before somebody else does.

Bad news doesn't get better with time.

Spend your time finding a career, not just finding a job.

When someone says they can't help you before they've even heard your request, that doesn't say much for the type of people they hire.

Follow up is where fortunes are made and lazy salespeople are separated from great ones.

Customers have choices — and they vote with the business they give you.

When I quit caring, it's time for me to retire.

Why can't you be happy at work?

You can never have too many good people — but you darn sure can have too few.

Deserving and doing are two different things — only one pays.

A lot of people think just because they're busy they must be profitable. Not necessarily. A lot of businesses were busy right up until the last day.

The world don't measure intentions. It measures results.

A great salesperson listens twice as much as they talk — just like we have two ears and one mouth.

Management takes care of employees. Employees take care of customers. Customers take care of the company. It's that simple.

Good credit speaks for itself. Bad credit needs a lawyer.

It's important to recognize that the best skill some people have is getting a job — not doing the job.

No one cares how many big words you know. They care whether you can solve their problems.

Never underestimate the power of telling your team they matter.

A lot of people will follow you into the water, but not everyone will dive in first. That's called leadership.

He manages by walking around — mostly around the problem.

The best bosses I ever had made me feel like I could do anything. That's leadership.

Don't think for a minute that your customers don't notice why people leave — or why they stay.

A business without customers isn't a business — it's a hobby.

Want a better business? Get rid of the negative people. Nobody's going to miss them.

If you never sold anything, the manager asks how many calls you made. If the manager has been in sales — he asks how much you sold.

Talk is easy. Follow-through is the whole game.

Probably the worst statement you could ever make in a business is — well, that's the way we've always done it.

Ask yourself two questions — why do people leave your organization? And why do people stay?

Why do you want new technology or AI? The same insecure manager who doesn't trust his people isn't going to trust them either.

Saying it and doing it ain't the same thing.

Getting it done and getting it done right are not the same thing.

Saying no takes no talent. Finding a way — that's the job.

A good leader says we did it. A poor one says I did it. The team knows the difference.

People hear features. People buy benefits.

Great relationships are the keys to the kingdom.

Delegating is impossible for perfectionists — no one can do it except them.

If you can't trust your employees — you can't lead your employees.

Don't worry about your successes — concentrate on your performance.

Is the job the problem — or are you the problem? Get real.

Managing by data is great — as long as the data is correct.

Succeed because everyone who doubted you needs to see it's possible.

Don't bring me problems. Bring me options.

Most people don't lack ability. They lack direction.

A talk is not going to undo a company culture permanently.

A team that hears we will run through walls. A team that hears I will walk out the door.

A good name is better than a good salary.

Technology can be a great asset — embrace it, don't fear it.

Making a baby takes minutes. Raising one takes everything you've got.

Every great salesperson is always looking for one main thing — something great to sell.

Want some real perspective? Have your sales people switch places with your credit people for a week. Nothing quite like walking in someone else's shoes.

People don't want to know how to build a watch — they just want to know what time it is.

Nobody built anything great alone. The ones who say they did are the proof.

Working harder or working smarter — a combination of the two works best.

You can't sell anybody anything. You can only help them buy.

A salesperson is one thing. A relationship builder is something else entirely.

Good people still matter.

Respect runs downhill. So does disrespect.

A title don't make you a leader — it just makes you the one folks blame first.

Remember, all customers are equal — but let's face it, some are a little bit more equal than others.

If you ever have to choose between a person with ability or one with heart — pick heart. You will never be disappointed.

He hired the fella with the fanciest tie and the weakest handshake — bet on the handshake every time.

Remember — all customers are equal, but some are more equal than others.

Why do all your weakest employees never seem to get recruited by your competitors?

Sell from the customer's point of view — not from yours.

The difference between a boss and a leader? A boss has a title. A leader has followers.

Before you blame the job, the place, or the people — make sure you're not the common denominator.

Focus on always doing a great job, and I bet you will always have a great job.

Your reputation is your resume.

If you constantly look forward to only the weekend, you don't have a career — you just have a job.

Bad attitudes are the cancer that permeates businesses and brings them down.

The number one reason people stay at a job is they feel appreciated and needed.

All the fancy words and slick ads are nice — but the greatest marketing strategy you could ever have is a very satisfied customer.

Succeed because your family's future is worth every sacrifice today.

The ones who survive learn to change.

Friends should never have to pay a premium to do business with a friend.

Everybody can tell you how to get business. But how many have actually done it?

He's looking for a racehorse and keeps interviewing mules with good résumés.

When you start a new job, recognize that you are a liability — and work like crazy to become a valuable asset.

Are you selling what you want them to buy — or selling them what they need to buy?

You don't need a lot of people — unless somebody's out there bringing in customers.

Work like somebody's always watching — because somebody always is.

Don't tell me what you're going to do. Show me.

Great leaders make others feel like the reason for the success. Poor leaders make sure everyone knows it was them.

Succeed because purpose without action is just a dream collecting dust.

Everyone is in sales — it's just not always on their card.

Hope isn't a strategy.

His secret? Do more than they expect. Say what you're going to do and then do it. Have good manners. Don't be afraid to work. He's so busy people wait in line — and he's never advertised a day in his life.

Succeed because settling was never part of your true story.

Some people never have an original thought — they only use the boss's thoughts. Then one day someone asks what they do, and nobody can answer.

Deal with the issue before it becomes a problem.

Theory works perfectly in practice — the only thing that messes it up is that dang reality.

I have never had someone do business with us because we had a new computer.

You can't be over prepared — but you can sure be under prepared.

Don't take the experience away from a young person busting their chops — learning is lasting.

If you have something important that needs to be done immediately — give it to someone who's busy.

Remember, all customers are equal — but some are more equal than others.

He's hiring for a sales job and grading on penmanship.

Everyone loves change — as long as somebody else has to do it.

Activity fills your day. Results fill your year. Know the difference.

Don't tell me how complicated it is. Tell me what to do about it.

If the person hiring you has never actually done the job — I would think long and hard before taking it.

Great salespeople don't always make great managers — and great managers don't always make great salespeople.

Anybody can say no. The valuable ones find a way.

If your boss has never done what you do, I hate to tell you — you're going to have a challenge.

If you can't trust the people who work for you — why do you keep them?

Succeed because everyone who believed in you deserves to see it pay off.

You don't need every benefit. You need the right one, done well.

Every department matters. The ones that forget that — matter less.

The bigger the "I" — the smaller the team.

My hiring philosophy: if I wouldn't want my mother or my wife to meet them — I wouldn't hire them.

People don't buy products. They buy people first.

The best salespeople don't sell — they solve.

The best leaders make decisions. The worst ones make meetings about making decisions.

Look for a career, not a job.

You solve relationship partners' issues — you don't create more of them.

Replace I with we and watch what happens to the people around you.

You don't close a sale. You open a relationship.

Bring value to the relationship — not just a price.

Leadership isn't about being in front — it's about making sure nobody gets left behind.

Anybody can tell you what they're going to do. Not everybody does it.

The person who thinks they can't learn anything is probably right. They can't. Probably time for them to go.

Good employees know who pays their salary — the customer, not the employer.

You can change cities, jobs and relationships — but you always take yourself with you.

Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets. Protect it.

If you constantly look forward to the weekend — you don't have a career. You just have a job.

Most companies are not looking for people to point out problems. They are looking for people to solve them.

Don't take a job just for the money. Take it for the right reasons.

People don't care what you know till they know that you care.

A title don't make you a leader — it just makes you the one folks blame first.

When being interviewed, don't ask about salary and vacation first. Instead ask — what are your expectations for someone to be great at this position?

If you constantly worry about the money — try worrying about doing the best job instead. I bet the money takes care of itself.

Every no is just a yes that hasn't found its reason yet.

Money can buy a lot of things. A good name is not one of them.

Class is doing the right thing when nobody would notice if you didn't.

What you do is a lot more important than what you say.

Character is who you are when nobody's watching — and when everybody is.

You can judge a man's character by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

I was too dumb to know I couldn't do it — so I just did it.

Treat every person like they're the most important person in the room — because to them, they are.

I didn't earn being an American — I was blessed with it. And I try to live like I know the difference.

A grateful heart is a magnet for good things.

Real grit ain't about how loud you talk — it's about how quiet you work.

Raise your children so you're proud of who they become — not just what they accomplish.

How you treat people who can do nothing for you reveals everything about you.

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

Some people's word is their bond. His word is his suggestion.

You will never regret being too kind. You will always regret not being kind enough.

Your reputation arrives before you do and stays long after you leave.

Integrity is doing the right thing even when the wrong thing would be easier and nobody would know.

A good reputation is built slow and lost fast.

Stand straight, speak true, and never let your handshake write a check your character can't cash.

You can be poor and have integrity, or rich and have none. Money was never the measure.

Your word is either worth something or it isn't. There's no in between.

Manners never went out of style. People just quit using them.

He's got the integrity of a used car salesman at closing time.

Ain't never had to remind him of what he said.

Don't judge a person by their silver and gold — but rather by their character and their soul.

Don't just tell your children what they should aspire to. Show them yourself.

I'll tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to.

I didn't always have everything I needed. But I always had good people. That was enough.

You never start a fight, but you also never run from one.

Money doesn't make integrity. It just reveals whether you had any.

Nobody wants to be around negative people with negative thoughts. Be the person who lifts the room — not the one who drains it.

Leave every place a little better than you found it.

My parents told me they never worried about me, because I knew right from wrong.

Humility, honesty, and respect are assets that only lift you higher and higher in life.

Do what you said you'd do, when you said you'd do it. That's it. That's the whole secret.

He is so honest and trustworthy — if he tells you the sun is going to come up in the west, turn your chair.

Character is not what you display when the world is watching — it is what you do when nobody is.

You don't get a second chance to make a first impression.

What's popular is not always right.

Give me somebody with more heart than talent over somebody with more talent than heart every single time.

Treat the janitor the same way you treat the CEO. How you treat people who can do nothing for you says everything about you.

Respect is not bought. It's earned.

Your friends are a reflection of who you are — choose them carefully and treasure them completely.

You can never go wrong by doing what's right.

I'll take someone with manners, compassion, and kindness over someone with great grades every single time.

If you want to be a good person, you need to see a good person.

The best way to show your kids how to be a strong person? Show them.

Don't let the people you love wonder if you love them.

You don't measure a person by their height or their weight — but rather by the size of their heart.

Reputations are earned not bought.

Don't tell everybody how good you are. Your actions speak louder than your words.

A boy becomes a man by watching one.

Your character is your autobiography.

The measure of a man isn't what he has — it's what he gives.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Good manners in a young person gives them a very good start in life.

You don't have to be the loudest one in the room to be the most respected.

You don't kill a snake with a rope.

A handshake used to mean something. Make sure yours still does.

Maybe it was passion. Maybe it was personality. Maybe it was just caring deeply and letting it show. Whatever it was — I'm grateful somebody noticed.

You can lie to your friends. You can lie to your loved ones. But you can't lie to yourself.

The best way to get a friend is to be one.

Humility, honesty, and integrity are the greatest assets you will ever possess.

You earn a good reputation the same way you earn anything worth having — slowly, quietly and honestly.

Anyone can be a jerk. Not everybody can be nice. The choice is yours.

A firm handshake and a deep look in the eyes creates a wonderful first impression.

You don't ask a snake to leave.

My grammar may not be perfect — but my message is sincere.

A handshake and your word — that's still the best contract ever written.

I'm not the smartest person in the room. But I might be the most interested in you.

Do the right thing, simply because it's right.

The world needs more love and kindness — not less.

I never wanted to disappoint them.

The greatest thing you can leave your children isn't money. It's a good name and an example worth following.

I don't know a lot of big fancy words — but I do know a few small simple truths.

The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching.

What separates a person with great grades from a person with great character? About a lifetime.

A trusted snake is still a snake.

Good people don't just show up for the good times. They stay for all of it.

A man who tells the truth doesn't have to remember what he said.

If you're good, you don't have to tell anyone. Your results speak for themselves.

I didn't choose where I was born, but every day I'm grateful it was here.

Character is what you do when nobody's watching and everything's on the line.

If your handshake isn't worth a damn, why would I want your signature?

It takes a secure person to be simple.

A good name takes a lifetime to build and a minute to lose. Guard it close.

When someone shows you their true colors — don't try to repaint them.

A boy who will fight probably won't ever have to.

A well-raised dog minds even when nobody's lookin'. Same with a well-raised kid. Both take the same thing: somebody who cared enough to teach 'em.

You can't put a value on the importance of a good friend who'll just sit and listen.

Be somebody who makes everybody feel like somebody.

Mean what you say. Say what you mean. Do what you promised.

Leave every person better than you found them.

Sometimes your presence says it all.

When you help someone in need anonymously, don't think no one knows.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember much.

A little more love and a little less judgment would fix most of what's broken in this world.

Don't be the person a bar asks to leave so they can have happy hour.

Humble people don't think less of themselves — they just think about themselves less.

Nobody's looking for perfection, but everybody's looking for dedication.

You can fool some people some of the time. You can't fool yourself any of the time.

The best things a good man owns never show up on a financial statement — his word, his name, his character.

Kindness is free. Sprinkle that stuff everywhere.

Manners matter.

A man of character finds a special attractiveness in difficulty — since it's there he shows what he's made of.

Leopard don't change their spots.

If someone tells you how honest they are — cover your wallet.

Sometimes somebody else has to see your potential before you can see it yourself.

The right thing to do is usually the hard thing to do. Do it anyway.

I've been wrong enough times to stay humble and right enough times to stay confident.

You can't manufacture sincerity. Either you mean it or you don't.

A snake's nature doesn't change just because you trust it.

Work hard, stay humble, and let your character do the talking.

If your handshake isn't any good, why would anyone ever want your signature?

You can dress up a mule but it's still a mule.

What you do speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying.

I was lucky enough that people saw something in me I didn't know was there. I've been trying to live up to it ever since.

Your reputation is what people say about you when you leave the room. Your character is what God knows about you all the time.

Love costs nothing to give and means everything to receive.

Reputation is what people think you are. Character is what you actually are.

The greatest gift one person can give another is belief.

The kind of good person that is always going to do the right thing — even in the dark.

I've never seen a statue erected to a critic — but I've seen plenty erected to those they criticized.

People can feel when you're genuine. You can't fake it long enough to fool the ones who matter.

Respect is earned, not bought.

You will never go wrong by doing what is right.

Lot of people call them good friends. I call them my Angels.

A boy doesn't become a good man by being told how. He becomes one by watching one.

Kindness costs nothing and buys everything.

You don't get manners when you get older. You had them all your life.

A real friend doesn't always tell you what you want to hear. They tell you what you need to hear — and that's how you know they're real.

A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.

I'd rather be honest with you than comfortable for you.

Integrity ain't a strategy — it's just doing right because it's right.

Half of what I know I learned by accident. The other half I'm still figuring out.

If his handshake is no good, why would I want his signature?

He says it, he does it.

Money can change a lot of things about a person. Integrity isn't supposed to be one of them.

Sometimes the best thing you could say is with your presence.

His conscience is clear — mainly because he never uses it.

God gave me just enough talent and a whole lot of people to cover the rest.

How many friends you have is probably the best report card of the life you're living.

He's got more excuses than a dog has fleas.

Talent is common. Heart and desire together are rare — and unstoppable.

Character is not built in the good times. It's revealed in the hard ones.

I've been blessed far beyond what I deserved. I try not to forget that.

Show me your friends and I'll show you your future.

It's almost liberating to say I love you and appreciate you to your faithful friends.

I don't care where you came from or where you went to school — manners matter.

If you want to give your children something special, give them manners.

The greatest compliment anybody ever paid me wasn't about what I knew. It was about how I made them feel.

Don't forget where you came from.

As I enter the last phase of life, I do it with pride, but also a few regrets. I tried hard to succeed in my personal life, my social life, and my business life. What I regret is I didn't learn until later in life to help people who need more help.

I have to keep adjusting my pallbearer list — but I will NEVER forget them.

But what a great ride it has been.

Do it now. If you love someone, tell them.

The world don't need what you're saving up — it needs what you're sitting on.

You don't get the chance to redo the past — so you better do it right the first time.

Find what makes you happy in life — not what others want you to do.

Some folks are so busy making a living they forget to make a life.

It's a lot easier to get home when you were born on third base — but it's a lot more challenging when you had to start at the batter's box.

Life is too short to harbor hate.

If you're miserable broke — you'll be miserable rich. Money just upgrades the misery.

What defines a wonderful life for you?

Did you leave this world better than it was when you got here?

Life is like a roll of toilet paper — the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.

Life is made up of choices — and not making a choice is a choice.

Life has a funny way of teaching you exactly what you tried to avoid.

You can waste a day. You can waste a week. But don't waste a life.

When it's all over, did you give more than you got?

Life is for loving and living.

Finding your passion is the roadmap to a fabulous future.

If you didn't like life when you had no money — you're probably not gonna like it when you do.

The most expensive thing in life isn't money. It's the years you can't get back.

Kids are like dogs — if they misbehave, don't get mad at the dog, get mad at their owner.

The parade of life will go on forever. Get in it — or just watch it. Your choice.

If you want to give your children something they can keep the rest of their life — teach them manners and respect.

Don't regret what you didn't do — be thankful for what you got to do.

Do not regret getting older. It is a privilege not everyone gets to experience.

Regret is the heaviest thing you'll ever carry.

I used to want more things. Now I want more time with the right people.

The richest man in the graveyard is still in the graveyard.

You can always make more money. You can't make more time.

Experience doesn't make you old. It makes you valuable.

When they talk about you after you're gone, what do you want them to say?

Chase the life, not just the living.

Who wants to be around a griping old man? Nobody. And I don't want to be one either.

If you died today, what would people say about the life you led?

What is your purpose in this life?

Look back over your life and count the good people. Those are your real blessings.

Life is just one long conversation — it starts with girls and football and ends with doctors and golf. Everything in between is the good stuff.

I am not here to tell you what to do or how to do it. I am just here to share my thoughts and my opinions. Just Saying.

The days are long but the years are short. Don't blink.

Life doesn't come with a manual — just a series of lessons you didn't sign up for.

Your GPA won't follow you forever — but your character will.

The wishbone says I hope. The backbone says I will.

It's your life. Live it. Don't squander it.

Not everybody who walks with you is walking with you.

You can't help getting old — but you can still control your attitude.

If your business is thriving and your life is empty, you're not winning.

Raising good children is the most challenging job you will ever have — but also the most gratifying.

To have a friend, you gotta be a friend.

Change your thoughts and you change your life.

What is your purpose on this earth?

Don't judge a person by how many people came to the wedding. Judge them by how many came to the funeral.

Simple words, from a simple man.

Show me who you spend your time with and I'll show you who you're becoming.

When they are gone, it's too late to tell them what they meant to you.

A happy poor man will be a happy rich man. A miserable poor man will be a miserable rich man with better furniture.

Quit apologizing for what you love — show it, share it, let it shine.

Laughing is a medicine that we all need to take daily.

It may not always be easy — and maybe a little embarrassing — but tell people how special they are to you. You'll never regret it.

We all need to stop, laugh, and smell the roses.

Rather be seen than viewed.

Please and thank you never went out of style — some people just stopped using them.

Some people spend their day saying what is wrong with the world. Some of us like to say what is right with the world.

We all have an expiration date. We just don't know when it is — so live like it matters.

Laughing is medicine that doesn't require a prescription.

At my age, everything I own is either paid off or worn out.

Passion and purpose are a dynamic partnership.

Everyone knows how much time they've been on this earth. What no one knows is how much time they've got left.

We went from talking about girls in high school to talking about our grandkids — and somehow didn't even notice the years in between.

What can you accomplish with a great mind and a pure heart?

Creating relationships is a gift that requires honesty and earned trust.

Don't trade what you want most for what you want right now.

Your passion ain't something to be embarrassed about — it's your gift to the world.

Have you made a list of all the wonderful things you have in your life? If you haven't — you probably should.

Life owes you nothing. What you become is up to you.

About the time you've learned some things that are pretty good — you realize that time is running out.

Raise your children or the world will raise them for you. And the world ain't near as careful.

The older I get, the less I care what people think — and the more I care about the people who matter.

I've had a good life. Some of it I even planned.

Live your life so that the preacher doesn't have to lie at your funeral.

You've got something nobody else has. Share it with everyone who needs it.

I had a wife, two kids, and a job I loved. How bad was that for me?

Support your friends. Encourage them. Inspire them. Give them hope when others put them down.

Old people mean well — we're just a little disappointed that we didn't listen to the advice old folks gave us.

One of the greatest gifts you can ever give humanity is raising great children.

Age is just a number. Mine is unlisted.

When you get older, you sure wish you could share these life experiences — the ones that might have helped a few people have a smoother life.

Pride is temporary. Regret is forever.

Most people don't lack ability. They lack direction.

When you pass, did you leave more than you took?

The question isn't how long you lived. It's how you lived.

Don't let your best stuff die with you — give it away first.

The secret to aging well is to keep moving, keep laughing, and never tell your age to anyone who might use it against you.

Manners cost nothing and mean everything. Funny how rare they've become.

What you're passionate about isn't something to hide — it's something to share.

Don't spend your life regretting what you did or didn't say. Do it now.

You'll know you did good as a parent when your children become the kind of people you'd choose as friends.

Find what you love, then let it shine through everything you do.

Love never goes out of style.

Toys break. Clothes wear out. Manners and respect last a lifetime.

Getting older is mandatory. Growing old is optional.

It's funny — as you get older, the race for money and material things seems to wane, and you become more concerned with the special people you've known and how much they really mean to you.

Good friends are sacred.

You never hear of people trying to sneak out of the United States — but they sure are trying to sneak in.

I don't feel old. I feel experienced.

Don't hide your fire — the world needs to see it burn.

You don't get to choose every hand you're dealt — just how you play it.

Technology gave us everything except the one thing we really needed — common courtesy.

We were hunting in West Texas on a Sunday morning when the guys started unloading their guns. I said — what are y'all doing? They said — we're trying to beat the Baptists to Dairy Queen.

Bless his heart, he's about two bricks shy of a full load.

Let her rip tater chip.

Good fences make good neighbors.

You go to the reunion thinking you're the odd one. You leave knowing you're the lucky one.

I'm not old. I'm a classic. And classics need a little more maintenance.

Common sense is the cheapest thing in the world to get — and apparently the hardest to find.

Common sense is like deodorant — the people who need it most never use it.

I got wrinkles that can hold 5 gallons of water if I'm out in the rain.

I had to think about retirement — if you never work, you never get a day off.

About as sharp as a marble.

That old boy was lost as an egg at last year's Easter egg hunt.

If it moves and it shouldn't — duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should — WD-40. That's the complete Southern toolbox.

The best way to keep from saying something stupid or crazy — don't say it.

He couldn't lead a silent prayer.

God made fools for practice before he made some people.

Money can't buy happiness — but it sure makes misery more comfortable.

Every crow thinks its baby is the blackest.

My wife says I can't hear thunder.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

He set out to find himself and got lost on the way.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

That old boy doesn't have a receding hairline — he has a retreating one.

He's so country he thinks a salad bar is something you tie up your horse to.

He's so old his birthday cake looks like a forest fire.

Down here we don't tan — we rust.

I'm full as a tick on a collie dog.

I am so hungry I am scared.

You ever go to a family reunion and want to start trimming the family tree back?

He got a tan from opening the refrigerator so much last month.

The camera always finds the one person who saw everything and can describe nothing.

At nineteen I had all the answers. At sixty, I'm just grateful nobody was grading the test.

Yoga pants stretched that far ought to come with a warning label.

That old boy has more guts than a high diver.

The creek don't rise on your schedule.

When you know your doctors better than your neighbors — you might be closer to the end than you think.

Don't dig a hole you can't climb out of.

By the time you know all the answers, nobody's asking you the questions.

I'll be there directly.

Two things are infinite — the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe.

It's not the fall that kills you — it's the sudden stop at the end.

I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

If you think Southern women are fragile, just try to get the last biscuit on the plate… I don't think so!

The easiest job in the world is giving advice. The hardest is taking it.

Nobody who asks how are you is prepared for an honest answer.

He's so tight he squeaks when he walks.

A good rancher can fix anything with baling wire, duct tape, and a few choice words.

You can cry about it or laugh about it. Either way it happened.

He has the IQ of a rock — and that's an insult to the rock.

Like a trapped rat — the hell with the cheese, he just wants out of the trap.

We didn't have a lot growing up — but we didn't know it, because nobody told us.

He thought long division was somethin' the preacher talked about when a marriage went bad.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Even a fish wouldn't get in trouble if he kept his mouth shut.

Cute as a speckled puppy.

He squeezes a nickel so tight the buffalo hollers.

There are two answers to how are you — the honest one and the one people actually want to hear.

Don't let yesterday eat up too much of today.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper — the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.

The older I get, the better I was.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions and sorry excuses.

Experience is what you get right after you needed it.

In Texas, 'fixing to' is a full action plan.

Getting old dang sure beats the alternative.

She must not have a mirror.

She has been in a bad mood for 52 years — doesn't look like she is going to outgrow it.

Busier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

My wife says I need a hearing aid. I say I need a quieter wife.

At our meeting we didn't have enough people in the room to have an argument.

At my age, I've seen it all, done most of it, and forgotten half of it.

The same boiling water that hardens an egg softens a potato. It's all about what you're made of.

Don't squat with your spurs on.

I'm not saying he's conceited — but I am saying he's convinced.

My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life and she doesn't try to run mine. She runs both.

Busy as a set of jumper cables at a redneck funeral.

The sun don't shine on the same dog's butt all day long.

If you ever feel underdressed going into a Walmart — you really are a fashion icon.

Some days you just catch a case of the stupids. No vaccine, no cure — just time and embarrassment.

He thought Algebra was a country somewhere near Europe.

Old boy was so lazy he couldn't wear a self-winding watch.

It's as dark as the inside of a cow.

Problems are a lot like bad relatives — everybody has them, but nobody talks about them.

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

The kind of person that when you ask his name — it stumps him.

The school of hard knocks has no summer break and charges full tuition.

I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. Now if I could just remember what it was.

You can't make a purse out of a sow's ear.

She's madder than a wet hen.

Never wrestle with a pig — you both get dirty and the pig likes it. — often attributed to George Bernard Shaw

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

About as useless as shooting a BB gun at an elephant.

She asked if the pants made her look big. He said the pants are fine, sweetheart — they're doing all they can.

Every path has a few puddles.

You ever been around someone that is just unhappy all the time? You just want to ask where she parks her broom.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

What most old people really need is a good ironing.

"How are you doing?" Translation: Please say good so we can move on.

Do you bring people down or do you push them up? There's a big difference.

I had one goal in life — don't die young. So far so good.

If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.

He speaks first and thinks later — if at all.

Was I nervous? You couldn't drive a straight pin up my butt with a sledgehammer.

We don't need a map. We need a miracle.

I told someone I was in the fourth quarter of the game. He said — face it Ken, they already announced the two-minute warning.

Hard work never killed anyone — but laziness has buried a few.

Sometimes you see how people are dressed and it becomes obvious they don't have a mirror at home.

The older I get, the funnier my problems look in the rearview mirror.

He thought footnotes were something podiatrists wrote.

So hungry I could eat the sock off a Russian foot shower.

At my age, happy hour is a nap.

You can be right, or you can be married. Most nights, you can't be both.

The only workout those britches ever saw was trying to get into them.

Happy wife, happy life.

He's been wrong so many times he's getting good at it.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

He's the kind of man who lights up a room — by leaving it.

Nobody fails if you did your best.

The next time he does something honestly will be the first time.

If you can find the humor in a situation, you haven't lost yet.

He couldn't find water if he fell out of a boat.

Common sense is so rare it ought to be classified as a superpower.

The problem with doing nothing is you never know when you're done.

Find the people who make your stomach hurt from laughing. Hold onto them for dear life.

I took psychology in college and figured out the secret to passing — just pick the opposite of whatever I thought the answer was on the test.

Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can't laugh at yourself, call me — I will.

Couldn't pick his own brother out of a room full of women.

They didn't time him with a stopwatch — they used a sundial.

The tongue weighs nothing, but few folks can hold it.

That old boy right there had money since it was invented.

Always hire a lazy man to do a hard job. He'll find an easy way to do it.

Nervous as a prostitute in church.

Young people are like puppies — full of energy, no sense of direction, and convinced they're right.

It's hotter than a two-dollar pistol out there.

That boy's long term thinking is whether to get fries or onion rings.

She's put up with me for 55 years. Either she's a saint or she's not paying attention. I'm not going to ask.

He who talks the most knows the least.

Some folks are the reason we have warning labels.

I've reached the age where my back goes out more than I do.

Some people bring joy wherever they go. Others bring joy whenever they go.

Busier than a mosquito at a nudist colony.

I will beat sparks out of your butt if you do that again.

The only one who honestly likes change is a baby with a dirty diaper.

Will Rogers said he never met a man he didn't like. Apparently Will and I didn't travel in the same circles.

That's high as a giraffe's ass on a ladder.

That meal is so good it'd make a rabbit hug a hound.

Common sense and the stupids can't be in the same room at the same time.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you're looking for a club and a spade.

If his mouth is moving, guaranteed he's lying.

Them yoga britches got stretch marks on them.

We don't hide crazy down South — we put it on the porch and give it sweet tea.

Either her mirror is broken or she's got more confidence than sense.

Getting old is not for the faint of heart — or the easily ironed.

Don't trust a skinny cook.

You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make 'em biscuits.

He's so skinny he has to run around the shower to get wet.

A griping person is like a skunk at a picnic — everybody knows he's there and nobody wants to stay.

So skinny he'd have to stand twice to make a shadow.

Spandex is a privilege not a right.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

I'm so full I'll need a forklift and a prayer to get out of this chair.

A man who won't stand for something will fall for anything.

You can always tell a Texan. You just can't tell him much.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

I've got wrinkles that have their own zip codes.

He has the IQ of a brick.

I've had days so bad the only sensible thing left to do was laugh.

A good neighbor is worth more than a distant relative.

He is so tall he could go goose hunting with a rake.

He's so country he thinks "gourmet" is a brand of cattle feed.

The older you get the longer the honest answer gets — so most folks just say fine.

You know what's better than paying taxes? Having a job.

I don't have wrinkles — I have deeply committed character lines.

She's got two bulldogs fighting in the back of them britches.

If you lie down with dogs, don't be surprised when you get up with fleas.

Everyone likes change — as long as they don't have to do it.

He was such a bad shot he couldn't hit a parked car with a shotgun.

Talk about a bad cook — she can burn water.

When they said they were giving out brains, he must have thought they said rain and ran for cover.

A sense of humor is not a luxury — it's survival equipment.

Confidence is a gift. A mirror is a tool. She skipped the tool.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

When somebody dies in the South, you can gain 5 pounds before they bury them.

Dumb as a bucket of hair.

A happy wife is a happy life. A happy husband is a miracle.

In Texas, the speed limit is a suggestion and the turn signal is a rumor.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I wasn't paying attention.

Those britches have seen more buffet than a truck driver.

You can tell a Texan, but you can't tell him much.

Happy as a pig in slop.

A Texan's directions: go down to where the old Johnson place used to be, turn left at the dead tree, and if you hit the river you went too far.

He was so far behind he thought he was first.

Some folks are like a thunderstorm — when they're gone, it's a beautiful day.

If getting older has taught me anything, it's that nothing is quite as serious as you thought it was at the time.

Well I swan — that's what old Southern ladies say when they're too polite to say what they're actually thinking.

Looks like they were trying to get 20 pounds of potatoes into a 5 pound bag.

She's as stubborn as a borrowed mule on a hot day.

They say listening to me is like getting a drink out of a fire hose — you get a little bit in you, and a whole lot on you.

He couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

Most people have more than what they use.

My memory is so good I can remember things that never even happened.

Let's face it — when your kids get their AARP card, you are no longer considered middle age.

The fish that got away was always the biggest.

Just because you can get your foot in a yoga pant doesn't mean you can wear them.

Them britches ain't stretching — they're surrendering.

I thought the National Honor Society was part of English Royalty.

If you're behind a horse in the drive-through lane at Dairy Queen — you might be in Texas.

I've got underwear older than most of the people in my office.

I can't help becoming an old man — but I can help from becoming a griping old man.

Went to the reunion worried about fitting in. Came home thanking God I stood out.

The secret to a long life might just be a short memory and a long laugh.

He thought OPEC was a country.

He'd argue with a fence post — and lose.

A smile costs nothing. Apparently she was on a tight budget.

That food would gag a maggot.

Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment. So technically we're all just cycling through stupid on our way to smart.

That old boy is bad to lie.

It's the best thing since floating soap.

The more you stir manure, the worse it stinks.

Busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest.

The next smart thing he says will be the first one.

I finally asked her where she parked her broom — she didn't think it was funny. I did.

We were so poor, we couldn't even afford to pay attention.

That old boy has a whole lot of quit in him.

Most grown-ups are just kids who figured out how to fake it convincingly. You're closer than you think.

Southern hospitality means we'll feed you, hug you, and talk about you the minute you leave — all with equal enthusiasm.

The great thing about getting old — you get to meet new friends every day.

Older than dirt and twice as dusty.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Pretty is as pretty does — and ugly goes clear to the bone.

Quiet as a church mouse.

He's so country he makes me sound sophisticated — and that's saying something.

It don't take a big man to carry a big grudge.

I just keep finding the ones Will missed.

If they were giving out brains that day, he must have been absent.

His wallet's got more moths than money.

The wheel's spinning but the hamster's gone.

This town is so small the city limit signs are back to back.

There's no such thing as a little bit pregnant — or a little bit honest.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

He doesn't know "sic 'em" from "come here."

I got a buddy who doesn't know much — and doesn't even suspect anything.

You can't unring a bell.

The kind of person a bar would ask to leave so they could have Happy Hour.

If you can laugh at yourself, you'll never run out of material.

A wise man learns from other people's mistakes. A fool learns from his own.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So now I do it in front of a mirror.

I was so confused I didn't know if I was winding my butt or scratching my watch.

Down here, the size of the ham you bring to the deceased's home tells everybody exactly how much money you think you have.

If common sense were a cold, half the world couldn't catch it.

Good things take time. Bad things take no time at all.

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is there's nowhere to go but up — and at some point that becomes funny.

At my age, I've earned the right to laugh at just about everything — including myself.

He opens his mouth and the words just fall out — none of them useful.

Quick as a hiccup.

Family reunions are great — you leave feeling either blessed or warned.

Old boy is like a lost ball in the high grass.

When you got more doctors than you have friends, you're getting pretty close to the old dirt nap.

He's so broke he couldn't pay attention.

He couldn't find his boots if they were on his feet.

Some days the only appropriate response is to laugh until you feel better or cry until you do. Either works.

I am still kicking — maybe not as high as I used to.

Stuck to him like white on rice.

Patience is a virtue — unless you're waiting on a slow waitress at a busy diner.

Some folks are educated beyond their intelligence.

Let the cat out of the bag a whole lot easier than putting it back in.

They managed me with reverse psychology.

The bigger the hat, the smaller the ranch.

Those britches have seen more buffet than downward dog.

Down South, we don't gossip — we share prayer requests with a lot of detail.

I've earned every single one of these wrinkles — some of them cost me considerably.

A good laugh shared with the right person is one of the finest things in this life.

She's got a knot in her panties and nobody can figure out why.

She could start an argument in an empty house.

Looks like they're trying to put twenty pounds of sugar in a five pound bag.

If silence were golden, that boy would be broke.

Long range planning for that fella is checking the weather before he leaves the house.

Life is too short to be that unhappy — and too long to make everyone else suffer for it.

She eats so much it looks like they're getting her ready for a 4-H project.

I was young enough to think I could rope the wind and dumb enough to try it.

That man could block out the sun if he turned sideways.

There's no cure for stupid, but duct tape can muffle it.

Some people dress for the body they want. She dressed for the body she thinks she has.

I laugh more now than I ever did when I was young. Turns out wisdom and a sense of humor arrive about the same time.

He is definitely not the brightest bulb on the tree.

Smiling like a possum eating briars.

He talks a lot, but he ain't said nothing yet.

I ate so much even my shadow looks heavier.

A Southern man will help you move a couch, a refrigerator, and a body — and never ask which one needed to disappear.

He's so country his idea of fine dining is a clean tailgate.

The only difference between his son and his dog — the boy is taller, but the dog is smarter.

That truck's been rode hard and put away wet.

The only thing worse than paying income tax is not having an income.

That old boy is smarter than a tree full of owls.

He's as tight as bark on a tree.

Duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle it.

Humor is the shock absorber of life. It helps you take the bumps.

He is so insecure he can't go to a football game — because every time they get in a huddle, he thinks they're talking about him.

On him like a cheap suit in July.

He came from a town so small the welcome sign and the farewell sign were on the same post.

You go to the reunion thinking you're the odd one. You leave knowing you're the lucky one.

My tired is hanging out.

He thinks if you get bit by one dog, then all dogs bite.

If people really wanted to know how you were doing — they'd sit down first.

Let's be honest. Not everybody is pulling for you.

That old boy is so old he was in Ronald Reagan's Boy Scout troop.

She is the straw that stirs the drink.

She was so upset she took to the bed.

That would make a preacher cuss and a sinner pray.

That old boy is so strong he could bench press a Buick.

In the South, 'I'll be with you directly' means anywhere from two minutes to next Thursday.

Some folks are like a blister — they show up after all the work is done.

Humor doesn't mean you don't take things seriously. It means you take yourself less seriously.

Closer than kinfolk at a will reading.

If I knew at 25 what I know now, I'd have scared myself half to death.

Never take life so seriously that you forget to enjoy it.

In Texas, 'bless your heart' can mean anything from 'I love you' to 'you poor stupid thing' — and only the tone knows which.

At my age, getting lucky means finding my car keys on the first try.

They say life's a dance, but sometimes it looks like people can't hear the music.

If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.

If all you can do is gripe — don't let the door knob hit you where the good Lord split you.

He could have a Twinkie for his birthday cake and have a lot left over.

He talks so much he interrupts himself.

The person who can make you laugh on your worst day is worth keeping.

The family reunion is where you find out the skeletons weren't just in the closet — they were at the picnic table.

At my age the only pressing issue left is finding someone to press me.

She could get in an argument with an empty room.

Nervous as a pregnant nun.

He's all hat, no cattle, and a borrowed horse.

His birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Save your ailments for your doctor. Save I'm fine for everyone else.

How are you? is a greeting. Not an invitation.

You would rather stick hot butter up a wildcat's butt than mess with me.

They timed him with a calendar.

One of my buddies had a birthday cake, and after they lit the candles, the smoke detector kicked on.

He saw the sign that said Fine for Parking — so he thought that was a real nice compliment.

He couldn't spell AI if you gave him the A.

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out.

That old boy eats like he's going to the electric chair in the morning.

My face has more lines than a Texas road map.

A Southern woman with a new outfit will walk in late to church and sit up front — every single time.

It's so hot the chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

A consultant asks you for your watch so they can tell you what time it is.

Some would even gripe if you offered to hang them with a new rope.

The older I get, the smarter my parents were.

Some people just make everything funnier by being in the room. Be that person.

Some folks believe a Baptist can have a drink — as long as they frown when it goes down.

A Texas summer has two seasons: hot and hotter. And we love every sweaty minute of it.

He's so country he thinks valet parking means leaving the keys in the truck.

Nervous as a prostitute in a church house.

I'd rather have a cold water enema than have to do that again.

Don't let the tail wag the dog.

The truth don't need a long explanation.

He was so slow he couldn't run out of sight in a day.

I am so happy and proud I am strutting around like a peacock with two tails.

Common sense ain't so common anymore — and the price has gone up.

The family reunion is where you find out the skeletons weren't just in the closet — they were at the picnic table.

When you see some families, it probably makes you feel a whole lot better about yours.

I always thought PhD stood for Piled Higher and Deeper.

They say I took a shine to that pretty girl.

They say age is just a number. Mine is unlisted.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree — but sometimes it rolls.

I've known him since Moby Dick was a minnow.

Let her rip, tater chip.

When everybody's running away from something, at least you should walk over and take a look at it.

Hard work pays off eventually. Laziness pays off right now.

He's about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

At my age, wisdom and forgetfulness start to look alike.

Buckshot plays golf about as much as he goes to the Opera.

My buddy Hossfly said his brother was about as sharp as a marble. He said it would take his brother an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

My buddy Burl wanted to open Burl's Bait and Sushi Shack. His slogan: "You can smell us before you can see us."

I asked Buckshot if he liked to dance. He said he had more moves than a clock.

The older I get, the more I realize that a few good friends are worth more than a crowd of acquaintances.

Buckethead announced he finally beat anorexia. The buffet confirmed it.

My old buddy Van has never met a mirror he didn't like.

My buddy Buckshot said the only difference between being a Boy Scout and being in the National Guard is that the Boy Scouts have adult leaders.

Harry Dale said the best thing Joanie makes is reservations.

God gave him a good heart — just ran a little short on the other end.

We've been friends so long I can't remember which one of us is the bad influence.

Hossfly said he got hit Saturday night at the VFW Hall with a drunk front.

Buckshot said if you don't like Chicken Fried Steak, puppies, and George Strait — you're a communist.

A sophisticated fella asked Buckshot what he did for a living. He said part-time go-cart mechanic and full-time door-to-door belly dancer.

Friends are the family you choose.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Old friends are like comfortable shoes — you don't have to explain yourself and nothing needs breaking in.

Joanie asked Harry Dale what he was going to do today. He said "nothing." She said that's what you said yesterday. He said, "I still didn't finish."

My friend Buddy Ray told us he took his wife Peggie for better or worse — but he didn't say for all day.

If you took sick and went to the hospital, the food patrol starts dropping off deviled eggs, casseroles, and if you really have big money — they send a ham. Nobody stopped to think the patient might have had stomach surgery.

Funerals in the South are actually funny — when someone dies, everyone brings food. The widow is crying as she eats a Chicken Fried Steak.

Bear said he's about ninety percent now. They said oh that's sad. He said — no no no, that's really good. He was probably only seventy percent before.

Joanie gave Harry Dale the same anniversary card three years in a row. He didn't know until she told him. A real romantic at heart.

Buckshot went to New York City and said "he stood out like a diamond in a goat's ass."

Buckshot wore his meals like a badge of honor — you could read his whole menu off his shirt.

Anybody can be around when things are good. Show me who stays when things get hard.

I went to the reunion skeptical and came home grateful — turns out I got the good end of the gene pool.

A good friend knows all your stories. A best friend lived half of them with you.

Harry Dale told his kids — if they get any money when he dies it will be because he miscalculated.

Earl's wife Regina told him after he twisted off one night that he was going to hell if he didn't change his ways. Earl smartmouthed back — "At least I'll know a lot of people."

Now I'm not saying Robert Earl is overweight — but he says when he gets his boots shined, he has to take the guy's word for it.

Some men have a napkin. Buckshot had a shirt.

Buckshot told me he had whipped anorexia.

Regina got even with Earl. For his birthday she got him a hair dryer. Earl doesn't have a hair on his head.

Buckethead used to have to book his haircut two hours in advance — that's how much hair he had to deal with.

Hossfly Higgins always said — hard work never killed anybody. But why take the chance?

Gary Fred's biggest accomplishment in life was enrolling in college. Next year he's actually going to go.

Hossfly had two speeds — honest and sorry.

My friend Earl was always the romantic kind of fella. He bought his wife a new ceiling fan for their 16th anniversary. Knows what a woman wants and needs.

Time and distance don't weaken a real friendship. You pick right back up where you left off.

Harry Dale bought Joanie an early birthday present and wanted to hide it somewhere she would never look — so he put it in the oven. Three months later they were singing Happy Birthday to Joanie.

Favorite beverage of choice for the good old boys in Muleshoe, Texas is "cold and free."

Bear said, "I was smooth as a gravy sandwich."

Buckshot said his cousin was too lazy to steal.

Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.

My buddy got caught spotlighting deer — which is very much against the law. His attorney told him to plead guilty, pay the fine, and move on. Instead, when the judge asked him why he did it, he looked right up at the bench and said, "Well Judge, I just always have better luck at night." The judge couldn't keep a straight face. Neither could anybody else.

Buckshot had a new leather belt with a big buckle that said "BUCKSH." I asked where the OT was. He said it was 50 cents a letter.

My buddy Harry Dale told his wife Joanie he was going to play golf. She said don't come home drunk. He said, "Where do you want me to go?"

I asked my buddy Bear if something was hard. He said — hard as giving birth to an elephant.

In case nobody told you — nobody is entitled to anything. You earn it.

A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

McGurk was a legend in his own right. Word was his ACT score was the lowest ever recorded at the school. Nobody confirmed it. Nobody denied it. And McGurk never seemed troubled by it one bit.

Behind every great man is a best friend rolling his eyes.

Bear had a great idea one night in college — streak Denny's. His plan was simple: run through, fly past the counter, and out the side door. What he didn't know was that the side door was a fire exit. Only opens when the fire alarm goes off. It did not go off. Bear said, 'In case you didn't know — when you're the only person in a restaurant without clothes on, things get a little different.' He stood there for a good while. The next day in class, everybody was calling him Shorty. He said that was some of the most important information he ever learned — just a little too late.

My friends and I are the kind of crazy that can't be explained — only experienced.

I asked Bear how he was doing. He said — quiet as a gnat peeing on a cotton ball.

You don't need a lot of friends. You just need the right ones.

Buckethead said he doesn't eat that much. I told him — well it's getting in there somehow.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be sitting right next to you saying — that was worth it.

Herodale finally gave in to the dentist calling him and said — what day you want me to drop my teeth off to you?

Buckethead's barber was cutting his hair one day and suddenly just stopped and sat down. Buckethead asked what was wrong. The barber said, "This is a big old head."

He could mess up a two-car funeral.

Loyal friends are rare. When you find one, hold on tight.

My buddies Big Headed Phil and Half Track went to Lubbock from Muleshoe to buy beverages for all their buddies and got about 15 cases. They decided to have a few, so they had about 2 or 5, and next thing they knew the law pulled them over. He sees all the beverages in the back of the truck and asks where they're from. Half Track told him. The officer said, "I guess Muleshoe doesn't have one way streets." Half Track said, "What?" The officer said, "Do you see those arrows on the sign?" Half Track said, "I didn't even see no Indians." The cop fell out laughing and told those hicks to get out of town.

A friend who tells you the truth even when it hurts is worth ten who just tell you what you want to hear.

Buckshot said if he had a brother in prison and one in New York City, he'd try to get the one in New York out first.

Gary Fred told his kids he made the Dean's List — unfortunately it was the Dean of Men.

Buckshot said Algebra was harder than a box full of jawbreakers.

Some friendships are like good boots — they get more comfortable the longer you wear them.

You couldn't catch that guy in a closet.

Big said one of his buddies fell out of the dumbass tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Fourth of July is the one day Americans agree on everything — hot dogs, fireworks, and not going to work.

A good guest doesn't tell the host how to run the house.

I didn't choose where I was born, but every day I'm grateful it was here. Being an American isn't something I take for granted — it's something I wake up thankful for.

Before you try to change America — go build something first. Anything. Then come talk to me.

Democracy is not a spectator sport.

You've been blessed to be born in the United States of America, the greatest country on Earth. Don't forget it.

Only in America can a poor kid grow up and complain about rich people on an expensive phone.

Liberty takes about five minutes to lose and a lifetime to get back.

This is a country where everyone wants to come — a place where there is no limit on what you can achieve, if you're willing to pay the price to succeed. It's all up to you.

Some people cross oceans and give up everything just to get a shot at what I was born into. That's not something to brag about — it's something to be humbled by and grateful for every single day.

A lot of people sacrificed everything they had so that we could live the life we do. I will never forget that — and I hope you won't either.

The flag doesn't guarantee you a good life. It guarantees you the chance at one.

Freedom isn't free. Somebody paid for it, and it wasn't you and me alone.

You came here for what America offered. Honor it — don't change it.

A country is only as strong as the character of its people.

Veterans didn't fight for a political party. They fought for every single one of us.

More degrees than the alphabet and never built a thing in your life — and you want to redesign the greatest country in the world?

America didn't ask you to forget where you came from. Just remember why you left.

Every generation has to earn freedom all over again.

My buddy Buckshot said he'd never move to another country. He said he couldn't afford the pay cut.

This country isn't perfect. But it's still the only place where your story isn't finished just because it started hard.

I didn't earn being an American — I was blessed with it. And I try to live like I know the difference.

All they ever wanted was an opportunity — not a handout. That's America.

If this country doesn't suit you — the search for a perfect one is all yours. Safe travels.

You left your country because it failed you. The least you can do is respect the flag of the one that took you in.

A lot of people saw the American Dream — but some chose not to participate.

The bravest people I've ever known never talked about being brave.

When Americans go abroad, we respect the culture we're visiting. We don't try to change it. All we ask is the same courtesy in return.

Only in America. A little kid with nothing but heart and a dream can grow up to be anything. That's not a slogan — that's a FACT!

In Texas we don't secede. We just threaten to — and it keeps everybody honest.

You snuck in without an invitation — and now you're complaining about the party?

If 24 percent of young Americans are ashamed of this country — I say don't let the door hit you. Go find that better place. Give it all the time you need. Don't rush back.

America may not be perfect. But it's still the place everybody wants to be.

Theory doesn't build countries. People who show up and do the work do.

The greatest threat to any nation isn't from outside its borders. It's from within its character.

We are blessed to live in a democracy.

If home was so great, why'd you leave? And if you left — why are you trying to turn this place into it?

Some gave all. All gave some. Never forget either one.

Grateful immigrants built this country. Ungrateful ones want to tear it down.

Common sense on a liberal college campus is about as rare as a two-dollar steak at a five-star restaurant.

I'm so patriotic my blood type is Red, White, and Blue.

A lot of folks spent everything they had just for a chance to stand where I stand by accident of birth. The least I can do is never forget how lucky that makes me.

You don't have to agree with your country on everything. But you ought to be grateful you can disagree out loud.

If you've spent your whole life in school and have all the great solutions — show me your track record. I'll wait.

Before you try to change America into what you left and despise — I have just one question. Why did you leave?

America — where you can complain about the government freely, loudly, and on a full stomach.

You came to my house. Don't complain about how I run it.